A lot of people say that I'm not ambitious enough, but it’s usually my mother. All I ever wanted to do was travel, eat out, and get laid. What's wrong with that?
That was the answer I gave my old boss when he asked what I wanted. He was trying to get me to stay. I wanted to go. Where are you going? Stay, tell me what you want. Think of something.
My wife covers third, but that's none of your business. The other two involve obsession, which is not to say my wife doesn’t. The best my wife can do is to endure the rest, like a date at the Star Trek convention.
My boss offered to send me to Florida, get me some hookers, that kind of thing. He asked me home, so his wife could cook. It didn’t sound good to me. I was thinking of London. I was curious to try the fish and chips, maybe meet some English girls. That was 40 years ago. So far, I have no complaints.
I saw the gates of Babylon. Sure, I was in Berlin, but they were the gates of Babylon just the same. Some German platoon marched in, took them down, and marched out. Add that to six million Jews, and you know you're standing where you can’t imagine. The world starts to look pretty small. But if you have a dollar in your pocket, you can be in Rome in time for dinner. Rome they couldn’t take home. It can’t be deconstructed in a day.
I just had pizza in Naples at a place named after an ancient Roman senator. If this guy knew how long he would be remembered, he’d be as pleased as pie. They have his picture etched in glass. The place is a temple, and I pray there every time I’m in town. I was having lunch with an old friend whose ancestor was famous for being assassinated, back in the Renaissance, which he talks about like it was yesterday and he’s still sore about it.
We remembered our fathers, both dead since the last time we sat down. By the time our lunch arrived, it was like two thousand years had passed, which the waiter assured us was the age of the building’s foundation, including the stones heating the oven, which never goes cold. There, I got the feeling that time didn’t count for much either, unless you’re talking about how long it takes to make a pizza.
It’s not easy, having goals in life. But if you just keep it simple, you’d be surprised where you end up. The good thing about traveling, eating out, and getting laid is that you always have something to look forward to. Not everybody gets a sandwich named after them, like Mr. Reuben, but if you’re motivated, you can eat the whole thing while it's still warm.
